Truth - Essays
Demoralization a symptom of Narcissism
Energy drainers, Narcissists & Vampires:
In the film ‘Interview with the (or, a) Vampire’ there was a scene where Arman (played by Antonio Banderas) engages in a conversation with Louis (played by Brad Pitt) underneath a theatre that is dark and damp, and he says:
Louis, I need you more than he ever did. I need a link with this century. The world changes. We do not. Therein lies the irony that ultimately kills us. I need you to make contact with this age.
Armand at this time knows who turned Louis into a vampire and refers to his maker (lestat) passively ‘Louis, I need you more than he ever did’ but it’s the next line that has meaning to the contention of this subject. ‘I need a link with this century’, an admission of a fallacy in oneself of an inability to change or update his psyche to the ever-changing transient age. Even for a vampire personality bases are set, and what is a Vampire, but an archetype of an Energy drainer, granted it’s an actual medical condition for some, but allegorically it has long ties to historical myth throughout history. ‘The world changes …we do not.’ The collective psyche and the unconscious is like a morphing fluid state and the demoralized (and, Armand) is stuck in an age that has been passed over by something new.
Most people can distinguish a post-world war era to a modern era, but the demoralized cannot, granted they can distinguish the image and differences in technological advancements, but the underlining bases, the reasons for it all, the conspiracies that is the driving force for so much upheaval is inconceivable for them. This inability to recognize the current age or the current truths is a good example of demoralization in an individual. ‘Therein lies the irony that ultimately kills us’ for a vampire having a transfixed narcissistic state with the gift of immortality is a fundamental flaw in an inhuman condition, outside the narrative fiction however, what is killing the mortals (in the sense of freedom and liberty within the soul) is the establishment of demoralizing programs (media, governments-statism, education, institutions, etc.) set upon individuals to subvert and demoralize fundamental truths. Reinforcing the demoralised state in the individual or groups whereby adhering to any other notions of truths is impossible and irrational for them to comprehend.
If you subscribe to the notion that no one really ever dies that we are recycled spiritual beings and you have concluded that all men’s souls are immortal, just like Plato said, but the soul of the righteous are divine, the establishment hinders that through demoralization. The vampires (the demoralised and the narcissists) fears absolution because they have swapped their inner-self for immortally and darkness, and so therefore absolution not re-incarnation is what lies before them (much like the Pagan Gods of old). For the demoralised however, the inner self is missing and so they fear death this major blockage results in taking in others empathy and energy (or for the vampire, blood) to sustain them.
The demoralised-narcissist lacks the ability to know thyself their inner-self is missing, and this is why vampires can’t see their reflection of themselves when they look at a mirror. Ironically the story, in which the word narcissism comes from, is from the Greek myth about a boy named Narcissis who pined away at his reflection while looking at a river, and then he became a symbol of destructive self-love. A reflection of him is all that he sees while the reflection of everything else disappears this missing reflection is the inner-self or true-self. Their victim is filled with what they lack and in which Louis has in abundance and tries to hold on to. Armand describes Louis reflection:
I understand. I saw you in the theatre, your suffering, your sympathy for that girl. I saw you with the boy. You die when you kill, you feel you deserve to die and you stint on nothing. But does that make you evil? Or, since you comprehend what you call goodness, does it not make you good?
These simple emotions sympathy, suffering, empathy are some parts of emotional spectrum that makes a complete conditional human being. The demoralised-narcissist lacks these functions in the personality and therefore impaired by a lack of self and interpersonal functioning. This loss of identity exhibits excessive reference to other people to regulate their self-esteem and their definition of themselves. Which is compounded by their exaggerated self-appraisal both inflated and deflated or a vacillation of both extremes, in the last sentence of Armand’s verse: “But does that make you evil? Or, since you comprehend what you call goodness, does it not make you good”? Armand is hinting in the polarization of nature itself, reminding Louis you don’t know who you are without people like Lestat or Armand, and perhaps to think otherwise can lead to arrogance. So Armand suggests to Louis the relativity of one’s emotional involvement that fight for that last ounce of goodness or light that through time would be superseded by darkness and evil. So one must be aware when you condemn others and find evil in others you are too to that degree unconscious of the same thing in itself or at least a potentiality of it. Just because there are people who are lacking the inner/true self or unconscious of their own dark side they project that darkness outward into whatever the evil is, often to someone else or group. Thereby making themselves absolved of evil and in doing so; annihilates that individual or group, these criminal acts of violence is evident and inherent in our history. In order to comprehend the one true-self is to recognize (and, not to project a scapegoat, but rather) the evil is in much in him/herself as the other, by accepting your dark side excludes scapegoating. Armand describes the vampires in the theatre that lacks reflection:
Like moths around the candle of the age. Deca-dent, useless. They can't reflect anything. But you do. You reflect its broken heart.
Narcissists are vampires in a metaphorical sense; both drain energy; both have some sort of personality disorders whether it be Narcissistic/Borderline/anti-social personality disorders, the malignant narcissists has sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies. These evil reflections has made the vampire archetype engaging in a fictional sense, but very hard to swallow in real life, that’s not to say vampires exist, but the psychological disorders they convey are evident in real life society.
[Transcending the self is about imagining the other; not to weaken the self but to be capable of reaching beyond it. ... Imagination has inclusive quality and can draw others and humans together in a balanced way and also people who are limited by perceptions of reality. There are values in our differences it shines a light in our primary identity and gives comfort, but a human who only knows their personal or local reality may be tempted into thinking that the other, the other human with different social conditioning does not really exist, not really human. (John Ralston Saul)]
Ironically identifying a demoralised narcissist results in the verdict that they’re not entirely human, and they’re missing the emotional spectrum of the personality. That the true-self is absent; instead what is in place is a pseudo-self or no-self, and so indicates a psychological dysfunction. Also, the demoralised-narcissist adheres without question to the established order. An example of lacking imagination to transcend the other, the irony is the identifier (the one who can transcend) must not marginalize the central role of the imagination to do so would be dehumanising; it’s also an attempt to deny the other. That’s because the demoralised narcissist can still function through shared knowledge as common sense, and in that a quality it can reach beyond itself to a sense of the other a type of imagination …until they reach their blockages (walls), then it’s ‘decadent, useless, they can’t reflect anything.’ A shared quality with a structured form of common sense is not necessarily transcending the self …not in the truer imaginative sense, immediacy of what others experience and feel is impossible, we can only try to conceive what they experience and feel. Only in the imagination can we form any conception of what those situations may feel like.
The demoralised-narcissist is people who are highly subverted from the established controllers that convey unhealthy narcissistic, psychological, and pathological dysfunctions. Which raises the question does subversion cause narcissism or is it entirely from trauma. Demoralisation states that it takes 15-20 years for subversion to fully be simulated and it takes the same amount of time to reverse or normalize the subversion, however, if the person is also narcissistic that indicate a disorder like overt/covert narcissism, and N.P.D, etc. it is incurable so within that, demoralisation as well. Transcending the self in the truer imaginative sense is impossible for these people (which gives not really being human merit), other symptoms is made evident when they try to hold on to the truth in which the establish order has defined it, but has been proven false. Symptoms like cognitive dissonance, secular arguments, and so forth.
If imagination is a means of transcending the self, like Armand’s says; “you reflect its broken heart,” the polar end of this spectrum is when imagination is held to be reserved for a few superior people, where imagination is strongest in unstable people, scientist and artists are prime examples of this, it’s a variation on the heroic model and the primacy of self-interest. Related to this assumption is people’s subconscious reactions is to assume imagination is romantic, this can be a dangerous form of marginalisation. Scientism has taken advantage of this form of marginalisation an example can be in which mathematician John Nash was able to imagine through mathematical language beyond anyone else and yet suffers from schizophrenia (marginal elite). Then, his story was thrown into a pop-culture subversion hero model played by Russel Crowe, thereby making people adhere to that structured babbling of the imaginative, not questioning that infinity might not be infinite in a hyperreal-space sense, but something else, something within (internal) consciousness.
Imagination is no more romantic than ethics and neither is …a good illustrator is not inherently romantic just mere signs of talent, the opposite of linear rational spectrum of thinking. Would John Nash believe in something like Chakras any form of lateral thinking would surely scare him. It’s all about transcendence, and imagination is a device for that. Adam Smith described it as a matter of sympathy for the other, in modern terms it is called identification with the other. Sympathy is the antithesis of empathy, both of which the demoralised-narcissist can’t identify with and so they take it as means of energy supply which keeps them attached to reality. They lack identification, but their victim does not, and yet the victim must adhere to being passive with their imagination for it’s a way of responsible individualism, (it’s like being asked to be happy behind the enemy lines).
Elaborating more on myth of vampires can be defined through a researcher by the name Sheldrake who studies psyche phenomenon has come to the conclusion that long-term memory is not stored in your head, and that the brain is more like tuning device that can access those memories (not short-term memory) from the space-real (or akashic records or source point) and he calls this morphic resonance, and there are a lot of evidence to support this, both in historic esotericism and modern day scientific tests. With this information one can come to a realisation that consciousness, will, and awareness are not in your head either, but rather reside in a God-verse described by Nigel Kerner. These are not new notions, but rather a revealment to mainstream society that are tested by trailblazing scientists unlike their counterpart scientism’s so-called scientists which are iconographic anti-heroes for the purpose of subversion. These notions are mentioned by Gnostic teachings; one can link together through their archetypal similarities that vampires are actually demiurge agents who are jealous and wants to feed on our divine spark. In reality there are Archons who are in and out of this world, energy drainers that manipulate and hack dreams and drain energy sometimes abductions can occur, on top of that there are Narcissists (both overt and covert) who you might even know in your personal lives that uses trappings and false facades for emotional attack to drain energy as well. This suggests a co-operation between the two, but it’s merely conditioning and demoralisation by institutional governing elites who seem to take their orders from higher corporate vanguards. To separate and marginalize people thoughts, ideologies and consciousness and yet there is a unifying one governing order in place.
In the Matrix Reloaded “Ghosts, angels, vampires, werewolves, or aliens,” are ancient superstition technology that is no longer needed …that it can either choose to stay within the matrix or return to the source. What we think as supernatural is a hack; a trick of the mind to justify what we do not fully understand, but it’s also wise not to fall into simulation or holographic reductionism even if it seems evident through psychedelics. That’s because we ultimately know a lot more than just mere tricks of the mind through personal intuition and personal experience and sometimes synchronicity.
‘I need you to make contact with this age.’ Armand wants Louis to be an intermediary between someone who is blocked (Armand) to Louis, who, is a vampire of the new age. Armand is conveying his need for a companion and conveys his co-dependent symptom by asking Louis to supplement his need. In which Lestat wanted for both of them together bringing darkness upon the world, by gorging on endless supply of blood (energy) but Lestat failed somehow, Louis replies to Armand:
He? Don't you see? I'm not the spirit of any age! I'm at odds with everything and always have been! I'm not even sure what I am!
But Louis, that is the very spirit of your age. The heart of it. You fall from grace has been the fall of a century.
Louis denies Animism in an applied sense, “I’m not the spirit of any age” because his at odds with everything, always have been and he is not sure who he is. This conveys an immature spiritual psyche or perhaps on the verge of ideological change and acceptance. He is unable to see his position in a larger reality, or the synchronistic whole in which our lives are tied to the great sweep of time and place. He says this even though he is immortal and the dark gifts he invited on himself particularly immortality is now a device that can peer into the synchronistic whole. Louis seems to convey both in his mortal and immortal state being at odds with everything; this inability to act on intuition and to imagine the other prevents him to imagine him within the whole and swirl of time. This is because he is aware he can’t transcend spiritually, and so gave up his spirit/soul willingly for immortality and vampirism. In doing so defined who is, but not so much to a point it’s absolute, through his tragedy (his wife passing) he knew … who he was, and in that relationship love was apparent and equal. Through her death he became incomplete and through immortality a love so profound it lingered that it became ingrained, Armand says; “A vampire with a human soul. An immortal with a mortal's passion. You are beautiful, my friend.” This profoundness made him a vampire that has an uncertainty to kill, with this assertion Louis is part of the synchronistic whole, and in this position which was thrust upon him unknowingly he no longer has to imagine himself within the larger reality. He ultimately has a lingering shell of a soul. When Armand says; ‘I'm not even sure what I am’! This indicates a flexible ego, he is not yet demoralised and so can still grow learn throughout time.
Armand reminds Louis that his uncertainty and ignorance is the very spirit of the age, ‘the heart of it.’ This is a suggestion on the time and state in which ignorance is the modernity of the age both in the collective psyche and current society. When we are born we are in oceanic state where consciousness is in a state of fluidity and when we grow ignorance is inherent, but awareness is growing and the outside environment has a role to play. “You fall from grace has been the fall of a century.” Armand tells Louis in a roundabout way, when you are born it’s a fall from grace. It’s surprising the word ‘fall’ was used to describe detachment from grace since it is common term to describe the ‘fall’ in biblical myth notably ‘Genesis.’ That the “fall” is a myth transcribed in Genesis, declaring the transgressions committed by the first human pair brought about the fall of creation.
What are Demoralisation, Narcissism, & Demoralised-Narcissist?
Demoralisation: is a form mind-control through the Established order. Truth has an ability to empower you, but empowerment is always being marginalized through dialecticism, mind-control through establishment institutions predominantly media, controlled opposition, and so forth. Yuri Bezminov coined the term demoralisation; he worked for the soviets (KGB) before he defected to the west in the early 70s and started doing lectures on subversion. His job was to subvert foreign nation and demoralised them through false stories, through foreign countries media and create fake organizations. One of the many ways was through Culture by creating false heroes and role models, a way to manipulate the masses. Subversion is only successful when the initiator/actor/agents have a responsive target like two way traffic. The west like United States, and UK, and others are receptive targets. Distract them from learning something efficient (by creating fake organisations) take away the initiative and responsibility away from people with natural established links within individuals, group of individuals at society at large and replace them with artificial bureaucratically controlled bodies (erode moral principles), a slow substitute of basic moral principles (destroy trust) thereby the society at large becomes antagonistic.
Narcissism: are people with an inability to recognize their true self (if they even have one) some say it is absent due to trauma (often called narcissistic injury) of some kind developed during early childhood. What they have instead is the false self that can also describe egocentrism with an underlining difference that they are in love with their false self. The demoralised-narcissist has added disorder of an inability to recognise truth, at the same time being grandiose, manipulative and controlling. This psychological disorder are in the realms of unhealthy narcissism and so implies the notion that there is a form of healthy narcissism, which is true, it’s about healthy motivation to pay attention to your own needs not focused on others and being positive and that no one is getting hurt. The disorder or pathological symptom, however, is the over-focusing on your own needs while ignoring, diminishing or marginalising the needs of others, acting in ways that are hurtful, and this takes many forms. For instance: NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), borderline personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder. Because of their Narcissistic Injury or trauma, they hold shame closely thereby having a low based self-esteem, and so they can’t bear to know there is something wrong with them and they reaction for this, is to deny they did something wrong and put blame on someone else.
Something as innocuous as disagreeing with certain politics, believing in something in the past that turned out to be false, infuriates a narcissist. The trauma that’s been inflicted onto them at an early age has been repressed and blocked, whether its abuse, neglect, or depravation this trauma was so damaging and painful they blocked it out. They created what I like to call walls or layers around their no-self (as opposed to the true-self) to keep the shame and agony from escaping the no-self so as to not recall it. While at the same time building other walls like walls of ego (inflated/fragile/deflated), walls of arrogance and so forth, where certain truths can’t penetrate those walls, a symptom of demoralization. Any confrontation with a narcissists that has these injuries results in inability to reflect or comprehend that they made a mistake because in realising their mistake would indicate how broken or traumatised they are and so their natural instinct is to blame you and refuse anything is wrong with them. In order to maintain this pseudo self-esteem they re-focus their innate feeling of brokenness and unworthiness they act grandiose, superior and entitled, which is really an over-compensation of how bad they feel, but cannot acknowledge.
Demoralised narcissist: The demoralised narcissists are the combination of Demoralisation and Narcissism. Demoralised-narcissist is people who suffer from demoralising subversion from the established controllers while also having an unhealthy form of narcissistic psychological and pathological disorders. These people are bricks incapable of transcending the self or sympathy for the other or identification of the other. There is no cure for these pathological disorders, only applying boundaries and maintaining the best you can the status quo (or, equilibrium) of the home, and there is no hope for any spiritual enlightenment for them.
The demoralised old man hides his Narcissism:
“Be a better man than your Father”
Grant Morrison (comic book writer) once stated that he didn’t believe in conspiracy theories because nobody lives long enough to get smart, and so nobody is smart enough to run the world. That it’s all bunch of ageing old mans who are our leaders trying their best to organise things that we are all just fragile people living in the world together. This comes from guy whose imaginations if not managed becomes a marginal elite, only people in the know or the elitists privilege understands, humble in his priest like figure, but secretly loves his primacy for self-interest; as the artist as religious prophet. “Old mans who are our leaders trying their best to organise things.” A reductionist point-view, the old man is not trying hard enough. It is mentioned out there, through several or more books about the patriarch in corporatism, and government that how running the hierarchy of cooperate and government jungle is inherently linked to sociopaths and psychopathy. Are these the old man trying their best to run the world, a frightening fact. Utilitarianism and Corporatism were always been dependent on that need to control over the expense of spirit.
There is a book out there from Neil Strauss that made headway in the zeitgeist especially to single (virginal) males. This dehumanising book outlines to pick up girls methodically, it made such an impact; that pop-culture celebrated it; think Barney Stinson in how I met your mother TV show, he glorifies this archetype. In Strauss’s book it mentions that men are secretly seeking a particular father type the Miyagi to Daniel son, or Balboa to Creed Johnson, and is probably why I get teary when I watch ‘Creed’. The case I’m trying to make is that these father archetypes in their own way have wisdom. This is what we wish our fathers to be, the new man; mystical (spiritual), scientist (alchemist/ Pythagoreans), Artist (poets) only to discover that this reality is only found in fiction and what you get instead is the rigid pragmatic old vanguards. In which their image of what a family dynamic stems from 1950s cereal box, supressed everything that is wrong/good in an illusory image. The objectification of women from the demoralised-narcissist through niceness, goodness, kindness, etc. (the cereal box image) but what is really at play?
This demoralised old man throughout his relationships and marriages has hidden a disorder so destructive so insidious that the trail of emotional injury lingers like cancer afterwards. This hidden dysfunction is narcissism, not just ordinary narcissism, but one that is hidden (covert) by conveying a false empathy and sympathy to hook their supply in through a display of niceness. While at the same time laying the ground work for being, altruistic and keeping up his credibility in public, until upon reaching a point of conflict in the relationship with his wife where she starts to doubt herself, confirming the narcissists (agenda) or ground work. This is like murdering the soul over time.
The old man also suffers from egoism behaviours both inflated and fragile, he essentially built a wall around his no-self (as opposed to true-self) and what functions instead is the pseudo-self. This wall is the ego-wall and in any given time other walls may come up after the ego-wall, walls like; inflexibility-wall, arrogant-wall and so forth. Penetrating these walls is nearly impossible, if somehow you get through the wall, you have a further upheaval as you are stopped by the next wall. This old man’s extreme inflexibility is closely attached to his egoism but on the other hand, he is flexible enough to sell his car to his children at cheaper sale price value, and the time of payments is not so compulsory. Or flexible enough to take care of his children and other family member’s court and school affairs (bureaucracy, and the mechanistic world view is where he thrives), however, this inflexibility is a subtle one and where passive-aggressiveness grows. And when he is confronted about his fallacy, he says; ‘well, will just agree to disagree’ both people validating that they’re still in a disagreement is invalid form of flexibility and only points out his rigidness.
Flexibility is so important that it’s the twenty-second verse of the Tao Te Ching, [awareness of the Tao nurtures flexibility, and removing your rigidity creates an atmosphere of trust. When you live from the perspective of being able to say, “I don’t know for certain, but I’m willing to listen,” you become a person whom others identify with. Why? Because your flexibility lets them see that their point of view is welcome. By being open to all possibilities, everyone who encounters you feels their ideas are valuable and there’s no need for conflict.” (Dr. Wayne W.Dyer)]
His egoism and narcissism only confirms the notion that he (along with anyone else that fits this disorder) follows the notion of denying reality as opposed to everyone else who seeks reality and validates truth. The old man’s truths and reality are malleable and what he determines in his head is what is true, it does not matter how detach the truth is to reality, or how much factual data is presented that prove what they believe maybe false, they will not believe it. There are realties out there not determine by us, there are truths beyond our comprehension, there are conspiracies that hide truths, there are truths all around us. He can’t internalise these other truths perceptions and so his orientation becomes about defending his pathological mechanisms. Anything conflicting with his worldview he deflects it, or he takes the information and changes the original outcome that can match his original point of view. Being demoralised as well (predominately by Media) he is able to project little truths from what he takes in from T.V. only as a means to hide the truth about himself and that is; I determine reality, what I say is true, I am smarter than you, and I am better than you and so forth. All of this to maintain their self-identity, which is built on fantasy (pseudo), they simultaneously despise and envy what other people have, which is a sense of their own true-self. This is the supply in which they take or feed on.
This old man is two decades away from reaching a century in this looming area of uncertainty he becomes a fearful man, a godless man, being a godless man he fears death because absolution is the only certainty for him. When the old man was asked who are you? With pause and thought on how fundamental the question was, he replied ‘we are just biological machines,’ did the old man just watched a documentary on Steven Hawking, a man who is a clear proponent of determinism. This reinforced an inkling on how demoralised this old man is, where truth can only be certain through the establish order through false heroes. And they are not in the business of telling the real truth, but a pseudo-truth instead.
The old man sees only himself as the victim; as for mentioned of the fallacies that the old man has, his hidden-narcissism, his egoism, and his inflexibility has created injured souls particularly his wife. In his looming divorce which seems mutual, but seems to point out that he is the instigator, while at the same time he is not. Thirty years of marriage has left her broken (in a spiritual sense) also confused and in doubt, her energy supply has run out (a dead battery in some ways), with his looming age of uncertainty with the nature of entropy, he seeks to fill his supply before the nature of entropy and absolution arrives. He will seek it anywhere notably organisations (dating-sites) that merits this behaviour. Whether it’s legitimate or not (in the sense of moral and ethical behaviour) it does not matter to the demoralised-narcissistic old man.
His wife exhibits anger and hate towards the old man through verbal attacks, which is the result of 30 years of passive-aggressive and egocentric-inflexibility from the demoralised old man, this causes hate and alienation, which is manifested in verbal attacks and contempt from his wife, this is further compounded when his wife forgets to take responsibility for her action/emotions. Being a demoralised-narcissist and having an inability to identify/imagine/transcend with the other he can only see himself as being the victim of verbal viciousness, and in that ignorance, he also denies that it may stem from his cause. This evidence is further revealed through his daughter who exhibits mania disorder through witnessing her trying to convey her truth to the old man; he throws his walls of inflexibility and egoism up. His daughter being able to pass through one wall through mere wearing down is halted by another wall - in the process she exhibits bi-polar reactivity to the old man. The old man has broken her daughter by being inflexible and showcasing her mania as something of her own manifestation. Bi-polar is about the collapse of the ego, the outside world telling the individual that the false-ego is the true-ego, and in this, there is often an awakening of spirit, simultaneously with collapse of the ego. His step son on the other hand veers towards over-intellectualism.
The confrontation that arises with his wife is slightly different as he condemns and belittles her unknowingly through passive-aggressiveness and inflexibility, this has taken its toll on his wife, who is unknowingly playing the role of a co-dependent and is further compounded when he can’t realize that his granddaughter suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (his genetic makeup with his disorder have made his family tree moulded). With these two if not unchecked one attacks through condemning, and the other through setting up trappings (often through conversation) for overt emotional attacks. His wife’s reactivity results in so much doubt that it shows up in manifested little snappy vocal attacks often brought on by the old man’s lacking of hearing. These snappy attacks take form in - threating him with divorce or telling him that he is too old and that no women could want him, this is really his wife’s subconscious telling her that the soul has had enough and it wants out, the emotional injuries have run its course, both for the old man and his wife.
His wife unaware from what the old man did after the threat of divorce, the old man through his fear of uncertainty showed his emotion through action by seeking his next supply overseas via communications through dating sites. Through his crazy communication skills explain to his family that it’s just a vacation and that getting away for a while and it’s beneficial for everyone and when he returns, he and his wife can work out where there marriage is headed. He explains that only through this way, she can realize that he is not that old to get another partner and perhaps through this situation can make her change. This cleverly laid out hidden ultimatum is narcissistic in nature, arrogance in his assumption that people can be controlled, this is a dehumanizing intention, and he has failed to see her as an equal. The old man not realizing that these vocal attacks are the effect of his cause and merely just a way to wearing down his narcissistic and egoism behaviour and the content off the vocal attacks are not necessarily literal.
Several years prior to this, in the first divorce act, the old man did the same thing, she knew about his supply fishing and fantasy vacation motives. The injury has already been established this injury unlike a physical injury, but an emotional one that can’t be easily forgiven. Now at the present moment, he reinitializes his first attempt, convincing himself she wanted the divorce. His wife not knowing his true intention, but knowing about his vacation, tried to work out their relationship, slowly through silence and getting back to their roles by comforting through cooking and slow communications. Upon that good week they were getting along, but she gave him an ultimatum of her own and said; ‘if you go over there we are getting a divorce’ because he can’t transcend the self - and has an inability to see his wife as equal - also suffers from egoism, and is also a nice-narcissist with a demoralised self - wouldn’t cancel the trip. Due to the fact the old man would rather move on to a new supply that he can control rather than stay with a person that he can’t. It would seem on the surface that his wife wanted the divorce, but in actuality it’s the other way around. What he wanted was to keep his supply at home ignorant and controlled while he seeks another supply overseas and if it didn’t work out he has a backup at home. But his wife is not so ignorant and realized this action is unacceptable. In his attempt to normalize narcissism he only reinforced the disorder and made it clear to his wife that her marriage was just a job and her role was to be a personal assistant/cook/cleaner and in the area of entitlement for her to say ‘no’ is shunned for she is only looked at as property.
Having no capacity to love in a general recognized definition of love there isn’t a construct within him to understand any relational idea that people have empathy, compassion, sympathy, humility, and so forth. He will use the same words, but have no internal relationships with that word; he will often redefine the word based on how they operate. This is why it’s so easy to find himself with another partner so quickly without showing any emotion to his wife. Language and communication of ideas gets confusing in dealing with a narcissist. The outcome for this is emotional injury for his wife and family members. The lack of validation and acceptance with his daughter has made her question her true self, assigning her the label of a bi-polar person, and also made his wife usury, like an object, but he will call this love (but really its love-fraud). While his son’s mirrors his personality qualities although less rigid in being inflexible their egoism is still trickled down through genetics and nurture. The result is history repeating itself, the old man’s son treats his daughter the same way and so she exhibits signs of (a girl interrupted) N.P.D (narcissistic personality disorder) and borderline anti-social disorder, and probably inherent in the same way the old man was treated from his parents.
Being a better man is about knowing and recognising the darkness in oneself, but not condemning the same things in others and therefore is not led into those thoughts, feelings and acts of hate in others. Which are always characteristics of people who project the devil in themselves upon the outside, upon somebody else, the scapegoat. A better man is one who is integrated a man of character, a man within himself, having seen and accepted his own nature profoundly, a unity and absence of conflict within his own nature. Who is not ashamed to feel anxious, afraid, or guilty, this is the kind of person that doesn’t simply eliminate the sense of guilt as to be fearless or wooden, but a person who feels all these things, but has no recrimination for his feeling.
How do you move on from a person who is a demoralised-(covert/overt) narcissist with egoism? A quote from Jung could help explain:
The modern man doesn’t want to know in what way he can imitate Christ but in a way of living an individual life, no matter how meagre or uninteresting it may be. Because to him any form of imitation seems dead and sterile, that he rebels against the force of tradition that would hold him to well-trodden ways. All such roads for him lead in the wrong direction he may not know it but he behaves as if his own individual life with gods special will which must be fulfilled at all costs. This is the source of his egoism which is one of the most tangible evils in the neurotic state but the person who tells him, he is to egoistic has already lost its confidence and rightly so. For that person has driven him – still further to his neuroses, if such a cure be effective, I need to acknowledge the deep significance of their egoism. I should be blind indeed if I did not recognised it as the true will of god, I must even help the patient to prevail in his egoism. If he succeeds in this he estranges himself from other people, he drives them away and they come to themselves as they should for they were seeking to rob him of his sacred egoism. This must be left to him, for it is his strongest and healthiest power he has, is as I said a true will of god but sometimes drives him into complete isolation. However wretched this state maybe, it also stands him in good stead, for in this way a alone can he get to know himself and learn what invaluable treasure is the love of his fellow beings it is moreover only in the state of complete abandonment and loneliness that we experience the helpful powers of our own natures. (Jung, G)
So upon reading this quote from Jung, one can summarise that by helping the demoralised-narcissist-egoist who can’t be alone and needs someone to define himself because he lacks the true-self (and needs, a co-dependent). We must support him in his folly, by not blocking him, by going with the flow of his actions; if he wants a fantasy vacation in search of a new partner (which, is really more about emotion than reason) we must let him. Through this, he might transcend the nature of who is and realise his action is driving his emotion and not his heart. Through his point of view that sees the looming force of uncertainty and absolution one can understand that time is ever present within us, hovering above like a primordial unity and pray he attains a profound unshakable peace of the heart. But can never hold or contain the conflict, not a peace that is simply static and lifeless, but a peace that passes understanding.
Author: Michael Keefe.
Anne Rice, n.d, Interview with the (a) Vampire - Imdb script, viewed December 5 2016
Rosenberg, R, n.d, Knowing Narcissism - Crucial Information (Youtube) - viewed December 5 2016
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BA Recovery, 2016, How Narcissits Deflect and Destroy Information (Youtube) - viewed December 5 2016
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Richard D Hall, 2015, False Heroes and Roles models (Youtube) - viewed December 5 2016
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Allan Watts, 2016, Carl Jung and the Variations of Self (Youtube) - viewed December 5 2016
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